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Jan. 11th, 2009 | 10:04 pm

hiatus.

from everything.

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sick of this

Apr. 5th, 2008 | 10:54 pm

these past few weeks i havent been talking to anybody about whats going on in my life, been in hermit mode for the most part, and not being talkative since lots of things were on my mind lately..

ive been getting a lot of lectures from parents and relatives.. all because im sick and tired of my job and i want out of this whole mess. My parents dont seems to understand the hardship i go thru everyday.. yet they keep saying this job has a good future, and im wasting it all away by quitting. Everyday i slave myself to work, 10 or sometimes 12 hours a day, 6 days a week.. and i wait for that one off day so i can recharge myself.. and the cycle continues all over again.

Im not even gonna go on about the promotion scheme they have going on in the company, its absolutely IMPOSSIBLE to go onto the next level unless i put in 7-10 years in the company.. its been 2 years in this place, and i already feel ive been in a prison for the longest time. I seriously cant put up with it for another year.. this isnt what i want to do for the rest of my life, and i decided to move on.

as for moving on, im still in decision phrase as to what i want to do.. but i do know one thing, i need to work on my people skills and relations a lot better. I need to get in touch with more new people, and get more connections from them. I also want to go back to studying, afterall, education credentials are important.

one thing im absolutely sick of hearing is how i look and my appearance.. that i have brown long hair and i dress unlike any other typical people, people wont accept and judge me because i look like some punk. WELL FUCK. everytime i hear this fucking lecture i just grow fucking mad. my hair and my appearance is ME. and im not going to change my appearance for anything unless i feel the need to. why is it that fucking society pick on those who look slighty different and must call them an outsider? narrow-minded fucks. My parents and relatives all mind me of how i look, they just dont say it. Are they going to like me better if i look like a fucking steve ukrel? im absolutely sick of this shit, i just want to tear everything apart and stop these fucking lectures.. words cant describe how irritated i am right now. I WONT CHANGE BECAUSE SOCIETY DEMANDS ME TO.

im not happy, and my parents are giving me a lot of invisible pressure by telling me to change, and telling me to reconsider this job. Just now i came back from my uncle(since he invited me for dinner) and he gave me the EXACT SAME FUCKING LECTURE again.. and then when i came home just now i received a package from my parents with letters with the EXACT SAME SHIT LECTURE.. I GET THE FUCKING POINT. DOES IT MAKE EVERYONE FEEL BETTER IF I FUCKING SHAVE MY HEAD AND BE ALL ONE OF THE SAME TYPICAL HONGER!? ONLY THEN I WILL BE HAPPY WITH MY LIFE AND LIVE FUCKING HAPPILY EVER AFTER.

Im sorry to everyone who reads this..  but i just cant hold it in myself any longer, i fear if i dont write this out sooner depression will strike.. ive been meaning to look for a new job, and at the same time, looking for things to study so i can move on with my life..

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the bottom

Feb. 11th, 2008 | 10:45 pm
music: 9GOATS BLACK OUT - float

up to this point of my life, ive never felt like this
i dont show it on the outside, but im really unhappy deep inside
everytime im alone by myself, i could feel im tearing apart..

i tried to run from reality, drugs and depressants seemed to help..
but they only work for a little while.
im stupid for doing this, but up to this point, i simply dont care anymore.

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first post of the year

Jan. 6th, 2008 | 10:11 pm

its been awhile again, new entry of the year!

Lets see where to start;;

- been to japan for 2 weeks, had an awesome time with lives and going around everywhere in tokyo
- got to see Luna Sea live, that alone was well worth the trip itself.. very overwhelming
- lining up to see Luna Sea next to vidoll was super random XDXD Jui was right next to me the entire time! Kiku shook hands with Rame lol
- having to see Girugamesh, 12012, sadie, and ayabie on new years was super awesome :D
- shopping is fucking insane, spending like theres no limit (tho i didnt buy that much stuff as a certain krazy person, but i was satisfied)

and best of all,

- got to see Rei, Cherie, Miyuki, and Kazu in Japan :D havent seen them in ages and i missed them all like crazy!
- spending some quality time with friends made this trip a memorable one for me, thank you all <3

As for yesterday...

- got a lot of lovely happy birthday message from friends <3
- tho i went to work the next day when i got back to japan, i went straight to the new Justin Davis store in HK and went to heaven *___*
- got myself the palace crown ring i always wanted, and also the skull crown hoop
- manager was super nice that i was a JD fan, so he gave me a special gift with a Justin Davis pin and two chain brooch <3
- Came out the store a super happy man, whoever said money cant buy u happiness.. DOESNT KNOW WHERE TO SHOP WAHAHA
- went to dinner with friends at the bar, super spontenous moments ensured lol
- went home a bit tipsy and happy ^^

As for today...

- went to work like everyday, tho today was officially my birthday
- got treated for lunch with pizza and fried chicken XD
- got off work, headed for dinner with my grandpa and uncles.. during the way there, I SAW JANICE MAN AT THE MTR STATION!!!!
- super surprised, i yelled out HEY JANICE MAN! while she was looking up some cosmetic stuff, she turned around and waved at me with a smile <333333333333333333333333 totally made my day
- uncle and grandpa gave me money for birthday (thats always nice to have!)
- Super full after dinner, decided to go for a walk after the train.. got a few birthday calls too ^^

thats about it, its been a great new year start for me~ pictures will come soon, as soon as i get my lazy ass in uploading! XD

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(no subject)

Nov. 27th, 2007 | 10:41 pm
music: 周杰倫 - 我不配

havent been updating again.. i guess i just lost the motivations to update =/

- parents came back from vancouver for 3 weeks
- my cousin had a wedding and my other cousin gave birth to twins

on the other hand..
- ive worked so much over these past couple of months, im extremely sleep deprived.. 
- been trying to save up for the upcoming trip to japan, but no matter how much i try, im still spending too much =/
- been looking for other jobs, so far nothings coming up

december needs to come faster!!!

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house pics

Oct. 13th, 2007 | 10:37 pm

the anticipated house pics are in~ cccccheck it out!



crib tourCollapse )

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(no subject)

Sep. 27th, 2007 | 01:05 am
mood: awakeawake
music: 東京事変 - 私生活

cant sleep, so i guess i'll blog a bit~

This friday will be the day my renovation starts(finally), windows will be changed and walls will be painted.. of course in the way i wanted them to ^^ also im having them change my lights and fix all the minor stuff~ its not a big renovation, but it'll have to do for now.. since im on a budget with buying furnitures and all sorts of home accessories(i think these past 3 months ive been to ikea and other furniture stores way too many times?) at this point right now, im actually kinda worried about the money =/ after renovations, i should be down to 1/3 of my savings.. or maybe even less. 

i did say i was gonna dump my whole savings into this house, but now i dont wanna do that seeing how i really wanted to go to japan this december for Luna Sea.. and having a bit of money in japan would really come in handy~ not to mention ive never been there, this will be my first time staying in japan! I think i will hold off another serious furniture purchase until the next year comes, probably get the things i need the most for now(couch, TV cabinets) or i wait til my parents come back on november and help me out a bit(tho i really dont want them to)

maybe i did spend a bit too much on specific stuff i particular like, for example.. i already bought my ceiling lights and im quite pleased with my findings ^^ 

light picsCollapse )

but lets face it, moneys money.. i'll make them back within a few months of pay~ its no biggie at all! Just knowing that coming home after a hard day of work, i get to relax in my cool, hip house XD

next month = mad OT time!!!!
 

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lordie.

Sep. 7th, 2007 | 08:33 pm
mood: frustratedfrustrated
music: girugamesh - Real my place

goddamn, furniture shopping is HARD >.<"

anybody wanna help me? i harsh need help/opinions =w=

side note: my uncles moving out this sunday YAY

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back to square one

Aug. 26th, 2007 | 10:30 pm
mood: tiredtired
music: 张敬轩 - 我的天

again, i havent been updating this journal in awhile.. my lifes been really busy these past month.. moving into my new place and having lots to do with renovations~

im still in the middle of the thinking process;; the furnitures, the theme i want for my room and the living room.. its quite difficult! I gotta put everything together by mid sept, since thats when my own renovations start ^^ gonna have to shop for lights & washroom cabinets.. thats my main priority at the moment! the rest can easily wait afterwards (LCD TV, sofa beds, etcetc) and yea i gotta wait for my freakin uncle to move out of my house before i could do anything =w=.. hope things turn out okay~

works been really unproductive and boring lately, ever since i went into avionics, its been a huge slackfest~ but on the brightside, i got to slack and get away from the heat(hence going to aircon areas and cool myself down) which is a very good thing! Besides, i get to spend more time with some of my coworkers who are leaving in a couple of weeks.. 3 already left, 3 more to follow =/ its super sad to see them go, but im happy theyre leaving for better jobs.. this hellhole is really not worth staying v_v we will still keep contact and have dinners occasionally~ so its all good!

these past couple of weeks had been good, micky and kenneth came back to visit me ^__^ missed them so much, and they missed me so much as well XD had a lot of fun just hanging out with them and eating together~ of course, pool and video games had always been an essential part of our gathering.. hahaha good times! I also bought a wii the 2nd day we met up.. oh how i love it <3 even tho i cant play very active games atm(my house is super packed with limited space to move around), im loving the gamecube playback.. resident evil remake BABY =D

i think im falling for this certain person ive been seeing lately.. even tho ive seen her 2-3 times, something about her i found captivating.. meh whatever, im not having high hopes with her, but i'll give it a try anyways~ :P

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[]

Jun. 10th, 2007 | 08:49 pm
mood: alright
music: Juka - brilliancy

this week i had quite a good dinner and bar with my coworkers.. all happened in the same day! The dinner ive had was with my buddy's boss.. he always looked after me at some point, which makes me feel like part of the team~ had few laughs and beers along the night~ then afterwards, me and cyrus went down to the pub and met up with my other coworkers XD smoked and talk shit about work~ the atmosphere was totally chilled, so damn good!!

this weekend was home day, got to spend some time on cleaning my own room, watched a couple of movies, and just chill back and relax! It was also a good time to recover from the cold i got last week(its still not over, but i feel its nearing the end) despite of staying home, i went out to shop for junkfooooood :D

food picsCollapse )

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